The first time that a couple gets intimate with one another is a significant milestone in their relationship. If you have been together for a while but haven’t slept together yet, the first time is a moment that both of you may be looking forward to. This builds up anticipation in both partners, so it’s totally okay and understandable to feel nervous about it. After all, sex is a whole other level of intimacy with your partner.
If you and your partner are ready to take things to the next level, a little bit of preparation can help ensure that your first tryst goes well. Who knows, you may eventually begin to explore sex toys Philippines couples enjoy using together?
Communication Is the Best Foreplay
Being honest about your feelings displays more vulnerability than taking your clothes off, but it’s a necessary prelude to your bedroom activities. Let your partner know if you are ready for sex and share any anxiety you might feel. This is also a good opportunity to tell them if there are things about your body that you feel self-conscious about, or if you have particular needs that they should be aware of like allergies to latex or certain fragrances. You don’t want to find out too late and risk killing the mood.
Dress (Down) for the Occasion
You don’t have to remove body hair or wear lingerie if that makes you feel uncomfortable, but do make the effort to shower, brush your teeth, and clip your fingernails. Your partner will certainly appreciate good hygiene, and you’ll feel more confident if you don’t have body odor to worry about. It’s also best to wear something clean and uncomplicated so you don’t end up fumbling too much when taking your clothes off.
Taking good care of your body also shows that you take pleasure in it. It’s very sexy and communicates your sensuality. It also helps your partner to relax and feel good, so it’s a win-win for everyone.
Create the Right Ambiance
Candles may seem cliche but soft lighting and pleasant scents do help to set the mood. Play some soothing music and make sure the bedroom is clean and free of clutter. Prepare some light snacks and drinks to enjoy before (and after) your session. It’s also important to have other non-sexual activities available in case one of you wants to take things slow instead. By not creating pressure, you actually allow each other to relax and become more responsive to sex.
In the same way, avoid making any other plans for the next couple of hours. You don’t want to be checking the time and rushing to another appointment. Allot this time to just enjoy being with your partner, whether it actually involves sex or not.
Have Lube and Protection Ready
If you do get the green light to take things to the bedroom, be sure you are ready with condoms or other protection that you both agree on using. Even if one or both partners are already on some kind of birth control, it’s still prudent to have protection against sexually transmitted diseases if either has had other partners.
Having lubricant can also make penetrative sex more pleasurable. Water-based lubricant is your best bet as it can be used with most toys and is less likely to cause an allergic reaction.
Check on Your Partner
When the action gets hot and heavy, enjoy the sensations but remain attentive to your partner. Does their body feel tense? Are they moaning from pleasure or pain? Skip the guesswork and just ask them if they are comfortable with what you are doing and if it makes them feel good. Use the feedback to adjust the pace or try a different position that they may be more comfortable with. Communication runs both ways so you should also tell them if something feels particularly good. As you become more familiar with each other’s body language, you can pick up on non-verbal cues in future sessions.
If at any point you feel uncomfortable and want to stop, speak up and say so. A good partner will listen and immediately stop what they are doing. If it’s an issue that they can address, you can work on it together when you’re ready.
Focus On the Moment, Not the Climax
It takes time and practice to learn what your partner wants in bed, and they may not immediately know how to pleasure you, too. So don’t feel pressured to make your partner orgasm, or to have one yourself. Just enjoy touching each other and getting acquainted with each other’s bodies. Remember: the point of having sex is to be intimate with each other, not to simply get off. If this first sex sesh was enjoyable for both of you, then it was still a success.
More often than not, “mindblowing” wouldn’t be an accurate description of the first time that a couple has sex together. That’s okay. As long as you both prepare for it and communicate well with each other, it will be enjoyable enough to make you want to do it again and again and again.